So I know you've had the experience where you're about to do something wrong (or you've already done it) and that little voice your head gets to talking at one hundred miles per hour, chiding and scolding you like a clucking mother? If you don't, I'm worried for your safety and you probably have impaired judgement. If you do, whoopee fucking doo, you're normal. If there is more than one voice in your head you probably need to be committed. That being said, I have one too..and its not just any voice, like the guy from the State Farm commercial or Gilbert Gottfried..its my bestfriend Jordan Janice Ladwein. I like to think that her somewhat posh English goes Southern Illinois drawl has saved from many a bad decision..like the time I almost wore a orange gingham shirt with a tan corduroy vest..or when I almost broke into my mother's car because my keys were there. So here's to her, because according to Jordan, I'm reckless and I probably need adult supervision. And if you don't have your own little Jordan, I seriously suggest you get one.
